Looking for a spouse online is normal now. Families in Toronto, London, New York and Dhaka all use matrimonial sites, apps and WhatsApp groups. Most people you meet are sincere. A few are not, and they count on you being hopeful, busy, or far from home.
This guide is for anyone searching, and for parents and siblings helping them. Keep it simple: slow down, verify, and never send money.
10 red flags
1. They ask for money, in any form
A medical emergency, a stuck visa fee, customs on a "gift", an investment opportunity. The story changes; the request doesn't. A serious marriage prospect does not ask someone they have never met for money. This is the single clearest sign of a scam.
2. They move you off the platform very fast
"Let's talk on WhatsApp/Telegram instead" in the first few messages often means they want to leave the place where they can be reported and blocked. It's fine to move later, once trust is built.
3. They avoid video calls
Always a broken camera, bad network, or "I'm shy". In 2026, a short video call is easy. Someone who never manages one, week after week, may not be the person in the photos.
4. The photos look too polished, or too few
One or two studio-quality pictures, no everyday photos, nothing with family or friends. Try a reverse image search (Google Images or TinEye). If the same face shows up under a different name, stop.
5. Their story doesn't add up
Details shift: the job, the city, the family. Doctors who are always "overseas on a mission", engineers "on an oil rig". Ask the same question twice, a week apart, and notice the answers.
6. Intensity too early
Talk of love, marriage dates or "you are the one" within days. Real families take time. Pressure to decide fast is pressure to stop thinking.
7. They refuse to involve family
In our culture, families usually want to meet early. Someone who keeps delaying any contact with parents, siblings or a wali, with no good reason, is worth questioning.
8. They ask for private photos or personal documents
No one needs your passport, bank details or private pictures before marriage. Requests like these can lead to fraud or blackmail.
9. Their profile is new and empty
A profile created yesterday with almost no detail, contacting many people at once, is a common pattern. Take your time with new accounts.
10. You feel uneasy and can't say why
Trust that feeling. Pausing costs nothing. You can always pick a conversation back up later.
How to check someone is real
- Do a short video call before investing real time.
- Reverse-search their photos.
- Look them up: LinkedIn, the employer they mention, mutual community connections. Diaspora communities are small; someone usually knows someone.
- Involve family early. A call between families brings out inconsistencies quickly.
- Meet in public, with someone you trust nearby, and tell a friend or family member where you are.
- Keep the conversation on the platform until you are comfortable. If someone behaves badly, report and block them there.
If something has already gone wrong
Stop sending money and stop replying. Keep screenshots of messages and payment records. Report the profile on the platform you met on, tell your bank if money was sent, and report the fraud to your local police or national fraud centre (in Canada, the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre; in the UK, Action Fraud). There is no shame in it. These scams are run by people who do this for a living.
How BiyeHobe approaches safety
We are building BiyeHobe for Bangladeshis abroad who are serious about marriage. Every member is asked to complete a selfie liveness check, which confirms a real person is behind the profile, and we check that their main photo matches that selfie. Members can choose to keep their photos blurred until both people have shown interest, and anyone can block or report a profile from inside the app. No app can remove every risk, so the advice above still applies everywhere, including with us.